Can the state of your relationship have any impact on your overall wellbeing? The term ‘relationship’ in this context doesn’t only mean the romantic type, it can refer to your friends, family or colleagues. Well the truth is that the effects of unhealthy relationships can be felt by your physical body.
This section will help you to understand what happens in these cases across your holistic being – physically, emotionally and energetically, so you can arm yourself with knowledge and embrace your healing.
We’ll explore different emotional states, why they happen and how to heal them. Then we’ll talk about types of breakups and their hotspots so that you can identify ways to help you recover, and determine which healing frequencies will work best to alleviate your broken heart symptoms.
How Breakups Affect You
“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.”
– Stephen King
Getting over someone can be one of the biggest challenges you face in life. It’s no secret that heartbreak is often unbelievably painful – we have countless movies, songs and books that express just how terrible the feelings are. And of course, you know yourself the levels of pain and hurt that you’re currently experiencing. Despite this, many people have no idea why heartbreak hurts so much, nor do they understand the effects of intimate relationships on well being.
What’s really going on when you are heartbroken, and why? Why is it such a unique pain, and why is it so hard to ‘snap out of it’ as some people advise? Why do some people seem to ‘get over’ heartbreak relatively quickly, and others find the pain only intensifies with time?
Let’s explore what’s going on for you…
The Physical Impacts of Heartbreak
The after-effects of a bad relationship that lead to heartbreak can be felt physically as well as emotionally. The signs of a broken-hearted woman include a racing heart, loss of appetite, or uncontrollable waves of anger or crying. Insomnia, obsessive thoughts and anxiety are just some of the ways toxic relationships affect your mental health.
Some people even experience physical effects of a heartbreak that include chest pains or palpitations. You might have experienced some or all of these, or a variety of other symptoms such as tension headaches or even physical exhaustion.
There are many ‘romantic’ stories of women in particular dying of a broken heart that go back through the centuries, but did you know that there is actually a medical condition called – you guessed it – “Broken Heart Syndrome,” or “Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy?” This is a condition caused by a sudden surge of stress hormones often related to a highly stressful life event such as bereavement, divorce or romantic rejection, and it primarily affects women, although the exact reasons for that are not well understood. It can cause a sudden enlargement of your heart which then doesn’t pump as well as it should.
Don’t panic though! This is a very rare condition and it is treatable. It’s also highly unlikely to lead to death in anyone who doesn’t already have a pre-existing disposition when it comes to their heart. Whatx show us, though, is that heartbreak can cause havoc physically as well as emotionally.
So, how can a bad relationship affect you? Why is your body affected so much by heartbreak? What’s going on inside you when you are heartbroken? And how long does a broken heart syndrome last? Well, the answer lies in your beautiful brain and the way it adapted as humans evolved to value romantic love.
Research by scientists, including especially Dr Helen Fisher, has shown that the parts of the brain that are impacted by romantic love are also the same areas that are responsible for motivating us to find rewards. This means that from a physical point of view romantic love is more than the emotions you experience – it’s actually one of your primary motivational drives, as powerful as the drive of hunger! This means that romantic love is able to release all sorts of hormones that push you to seek out the person you love, and once you do, you get intoxicating rewards for it from hormones such as dopamine.
What researchers have also discovered is that when romantic love ends, and especially when you feel rejected, the parts of your brain that were involved with the reward and motivation to experience love are not suddenly switched off. This is one of the reasons that people often say love is like a drug; in fact scientists have discovered that similar parts of the brain are activated when you feel rejected in love to those affected in people who are addicted to cocaine!
Chances are, if you’re struggling with your heartbreak, one of the reasons for this is the way your brain is processing rejection. For many people this can be separated into two different states or phases – “protest” and “resignation / despair.”
The “protest” phase occurs when your brain is unable to accept the pain of the rejected feelings and the subsequent lack of reward, and it can be the stage where you refuse to accept the relationship is over and remain obsessed with winning back your ex, or dwell on how you can change so you can rekindle the romance. It’s important to know that when you experience the pain of rejection, it’s felt in your brain as literal pain. Studies have shown via neuro-imaging that even being rejected by a stranger will activate many of the same regions of the brain that get activated when you experience physical pain.
This phase can trigger feelings of greater intensity than you felt while you were in the relationship. You might find this rings a bell for you – that your feelings of need, want and desire for your ex were much stronger during the breakup than they were during ‘normal’ times. This is another way the brain tries to keep that reward system going – to motivate you to keep trying to go to the source of the reward it’s gotten used to. Before you know it, you’re slipping into addictive behaviour, and even taking actions you never would have considered at other times (25-page letters, 32 phone calls in an evening and several drunk texts, anyone?!)
This, too, is another reason why your feelings can veer wildly between love and hate. You might have heard the saying – “the opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference”, and research into the brain has found this to be true.
For many people, these initial reactions can evolve into what researchers call the “resignation / despair” phase. This often happens to people who feel they haven’t moved on, and the pain of the initial breakup has lingered long enough to turn into deep depression. For some, this can sometimes alternate with the love/hate “protest” phase popping back up. If you have found that your heartbreak has continued for a long time and doesn’t seem to be healing with time this could be what’s happening to you.
These are just the negative effects of relationships.
Whichever phase you’re in right now, what’s certain is that there are real mechanisms being triggered inside your brain to cause the pain you’re experiencing. If this sounds discouraging then please read on, because while it’s true that our brains change while we are in love and also when we are no longer getting the benefits from that love, it’s also true that the brain is remarkably adaptive – and it can help you heal.
Your Brain Can Heal
Scientific research shows that the way a person thinks about the rejection they’ve experienced directly impacts their ability to get over heartbreak and pain.
Psychologists at the University of Colorado completed a study with people who had been rejected romantically. They took MRI scans of each of the volunteers’ brains while showing them a picture of their ex. As expected, the brain scans showed pain when the volunteers were looking at the picture. However, when the volunteers set a belief that they were in less pain, less activity was shown in this area.
What this means is that the effects of the addictive-like hormones that have been coursing through your system can be counteracted with building different thoughts – your positive healing intention. Our brains are very malleable, and not only that, as we’ve discussed, they form part of our holistic being – which is intimately connected to the thoughts and emotions you access. By choosing new thoughts, you can counteract the effects of the reward-addiction that have shaped your brain.
This is only one part of your healing, and addresses rebuilding the pathways in your brain that are currently set to ‘ouch!’ when you think about your breakup. But it shows how you truly are a holistic being, and demonstrates the power that your emotions have on your physical body, as well as how in time you can learn to take charge again and make positive changes to the way you feel. The broken heart syndrome treatment lies within you!
Getting You Back In The Drivers Seat
This brings us onto a really important part of HT and how you really can get back in the driver’s seat when it comes to your breakup – by looking intimately at your beliefs surrounding the break up and the pain you’re currently experiencing.
Many people think the pain they experience is some form of punishment, or that they must have done something wrong to be in such a sad situation.
However, the true meaning of a broken heart is that emotional pain isn’t a form of punishment or something we’ve unintentionally attracted into our lives, it’s there to help us learn. It is the other side of the coin that brings the positive effects of relationships.
The emotional pain that we feel when someone breaks our heart or disappoints us is simply the physical body’s acknowledgement of unexpected change in progress. Even though emotional pain feels like torture, it is actually a sign that something progressive is underway. Pain signifies that we are undergoing advanced spiritual evolution and growth is taking place, just as the saying goes, “no pain, no gain.” As we go into the next section and look at how your emotions are affected by heartbreak, I’d like you to try and keep in mind that your perspective will have a significant impact on your healing process.
Next, we’re going to talk about common ways that your emotional experience is impacted by your breakup, but as we do, try and understand that you can actually gain from your pain. Once you learn and understand the reason for its presence, it will no longer be needed and it will move through you and release.
When you are in pain, you are in a state of learning, you are in the process of healing and you are in evolution.
— Healing Frequencies for The Physical Effects of Your Breakup —
Now you understand more about what’s happening to you physically during your breakup, I’d like you to take some time to choose one or all of the following frequencies to listen to while setting your empowering healing intention.
The Heartbreak frequency is our namesake holistic healing frequency that will help you face your feelings of pain and hurt so that you can properly process your current situation. It will enable you to gain a level head to decide what your next course of action should be, and relieve you from anything clouding your judgment while giving you precious peace of mind. This is the one frequency that will assist you on your HT healing journey, and help you deal with the feelings of pain and hurt you are currently experiencing because of trouble with love, relationships, career or any other important part of your life. This specialised heartbreak frequency is an effective form of sound medicine that offers fast-acting relief and frees you from the weight of burdensome emotions caused by heartbreak.
This is very powerful, so it is strongly recommended you first listen to the Grounding Guided Meditation and Alleviate Stress & Anxiety or Freedom From Fears & Overthinking (or all three if you are having a more difficult time than usual) in order to prepare yourself for this transformative experience.
You can experience hurt, sadness or heartbreak caused by career challenges, by love, or relationships and they can impact all aspects of life, leaving you increasingly anxious and stressed. Whether it’s conflict within your family, disappointment caused by the failure of a project, difficulty recovering from the effects of an accident, the end of a sporting career … you can be affected by the same kind of grief that surrounds you with a breakup. The soothing effect of this frequency helps you find a greater sense of calm and peace, escape from your elevated levels of stress and anxiety, so that you gain the strength to make practical changes in your life.
Self-confidence can be severely damaged when you are going through a breakup or even when you don’t feel accepted in your place of work, school, or even in your circle of friends. It is very common to blame yourself, feel rejected and start building a negative self-image. If this is you, there is a frequency at your disposal to help you rebuild confidence, be kinder to yourself and remember just how amazing you truly are.
Insomnia frequently goes hand in hand with loss or grief or just sadness, and you might end up sleep deprived when you need to rest the most. Lack of energy can affect both your emotional and physical well-being and many people who are going through hardships such as breakups, family issues, job loss, failing a test or general uncertainty know this very well. This audio can help you relax and take your mind off emotions and events at night, so you can drift off into a proper sleep.
Is the hurt you are feeling more than you can bear? Have anxiety, fear and overthinking stressed you out so much that your body feels like one big tight knot? Are you afraid your health is going to take a serious turn for the worse if you don’t relax and get some sleep now? Let us help you. Please book an emergency session with Graham and get relief in 30 minutes or less.
These private sessions are incredibly powerful and will result in quantum leaps in your healing, personal development and vibrational upgrades – this will result in easier and faster manifestation of romantic relationships that actually work, not to mention wealth and abundance in your career, plus many more positive outcomes.